Courtship Dating: 100
by Xenanutra
Summary: For the 100 themes challenge. Updated weekly. Dip. 100 one-shots.
1. Introduction

Before Note: I decided to do the 100 themes challenge as part of a writing exercise for myself. I hope to update with another theme at least once a week, but don't hold your breath. They will all be Damien x Pip. Please review, I appreciate it. I would r_eally _appreciate constructive criticism. Also, the title comes from a Crystal Castles song.

Warnings: (These do not necessarily apply to this first theme, but I am putting this up only once. These one- shots will most likely contain some of these warnings at one point or another.) Vulgar language, sexual themes (overt or implied), gore, blood, violence, homosexuality, religion, or anything else some might find offensive.

Credits: I do not own South Park or any other product or show I might reference in the future. All credit goes to their respective creators. I own nothing but my words.

Theme 1: Introduction

I ran down the sidewalk as fast as my heart could pump and my lungs could expand and contract. My eyes couldn't keep up with my speed. The world around me past by in blurry colors, a kaleidoscope of objects that could trip up my tiring feet. The words 'run, run, run' matched the beat of my loafers slapping against the concrete. I looked behind me and saw that the red and yellow blob that was Cartman was far behind me, his pudgy body unable to compete with my average athletic ability.

I laughed as I heard a hoarse voice call out, "Ay! Slow down you frenchy, fag!"

I knew where I was by the pattern of multi-colored blobs surrounding me. It wasn't much further to safety- my home. I decided to keep at least this distance between me and my transgressor, so I didn't slow down. I heard raspy yelling behind me and snickered. I turned my head. The blob was now just a speck. I turned my head back towards my destination, but it was too late.

I came crashing into a black blob. I hit it full force, the thud was loud and the sting instant. Skulls smacked skulls and arms elbowed eyes. We came down in a mass of tangled extremities. I laid on top of the poor bloke until my senses and my breath were working again. I felt my arm burning and realized the awkward angle it rested in beneath my victim's body.

I rolled off and into the powder snowed grass. I sat up slowly, my head slightly buzzing from the impact. Bleary eyed, I peered over at the poor fellow I bulldozered. He had blue-black hair and equally as black eyes. I shivered, but why I couldn't really tell. I don't really have any reason to fear him, unless he was plotting revenge for tackling him. He sat up slowly before grabbing his head and groaning. He looked around before settling on me and narrowing his eyes. I gulped nervously.

"_You _again?" His voice held nothing but disdain. I couldn't help but shrink away.

"Again? Have I ever met you?" I asked timidly.

He narrowed his eyes even more and he stood, "Like you don't remember."

"I- I don't. What is it that I should be remembering?" I asked as I stood. I was confused as hell. I'd never even seen this kid in my life, how was I supposed to remember something?

The confusion on his face mirrored mine, "You really don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

"You'd think that someone would remember being blown up."

"Huh?"

"You know? In fourth grade. At Cartman's birthday party?" I looked blankly at him, having no recollection of what he was speaking about. "The only year I came out of Hell and came to school in South Park?"

"What in bloody hell are you talking about?" I was getting confused, not knowing of what he was speaking, a feeling of dread taking me over.

He sighed and mumbled, "Stupid mortals and their shitty memory…"

"Huh?"

He sighed yet again, "Nothing. Are you seriously telling me you don't remember meeting me?"

"Yes… who are you? I'm Phillip P. Pirriup, although it seems you already know who I am," I extended my hand, thinking it only appropriate when making introductions. He just stared at it, not making any motions like he was going to return my handshake.

"AY! Frenchie! I'm going to get you, you blimey ass-hole and I'm going to drive your nose into the road!"

"Oh, bollocks!" I took off when I saw Cartman only a few feet behind me. It had taken him so long to catch up to me that I had figured he had given up by now. I looked behind me and I saw that the stranger was rolling his eyes. What's his problem, I thought as I raced down the street towards my house. I ran through my mental catalog of faces, but I couldn't place him and I couldn't figure out what in the world he had been raving on and on about.

Oh well, I mused to myself, he was probably was just some nobody anyway.


	2. Love

Theme 2: Love

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on. Everyone can see you do. It's totally obvious," Wendy teased me. She had a smirk plastered on her face and her eyes twinkled with excitement.

"I have no idea of what you are talking about." I crossed my arms and glared at the other teenagers in the lunch line.

"Oh, come on, Damien! You do! You can see it on your face whenever you look at him!"

"Complete and utter rubbish. I do no such thing." I will never admit it. Never. It's a sign of weakness to do so.

"Then do it," she poked my arm impatiently. I gave her a warning glance, but she ignored me. She poked me again, "Do it!"

"Do what? You are acting like an insufferable child! I thought you were supposed to be the mature one."

She rolled her eyes, "Look at him. You can't lie to me while you look at him. At least your face can't, that is. You know, you should really go tanning sometime. Then no one could tell when you were blushing."

"I do not blush."

She rolled her eyes yet again, "Yeah, right. I don't know who you're trying to convince. So, now, look at him. Look at him right now and tell me you don't."

She pointed out into the crowd of the cafeteria to a lone teen sitting by himself. I stared at him for a minute as he ate his packed lunch. Golden hair framed a petite face that sat on a long and lanky neck. He was pretty skinny and scrawny, but somehow it worked for him. His tailored clothes hugged his body, showing the nearly feminine figure underneath it. They matched his paperboy hat that sat atop his beautiful face. Bright emerald eyes gleamed out from between thick lashed and beneath black, modern glasses. They sat on a slightly crooked nose, misshapen from the countless beatings as a young child. What rested beneath them were soft, pink lips that often tasted of cherry chapstick.

"I knew it!" Wendy yelled enthusiastically.

"Huh?" Her random outburst startled me.

"You're totally blushing right now! You're blushing so much you look like a tomato," she laughed hysterically, drawing weird looks from.

"I will quit hanging out with you if you keep acting like an air-head in my presence."

"I'm not an air-head," he face went stone- cold, "And you are horrible at concealing your feeling for our little British friend. Why don't you just admit it, Damien?"

"Because I don't love him. I don't love anyone."

"Pshhh, yeah right," she said as she grabbed a tray from the lunch lady. "You should just tell him how you really feel. It would matter a lot to a kid like Pip. He might know it, but if you don't tell him he will always have doubts. Pip doesn't deserve that. He deserves as much happiness as he can get after all the stuff that has happened to him in his life."

I grabbed a tray from the lunch lady and reflected on what she was saying. I know that he does deserve happiness, but I also know that he is looking for that in the wrong person. I'm not the kind of guy who is right for a serious relationship. I'm the son of Satan for Hell's sake. No good can come of it.

"Bye," Wendy said as she frolicked over to the popular kids table. I nodded in return. I watched her sit her food down and give her boyfriend, Stan, a big kiss on the cheek. Could we ever be like that? Is something like that even possible for such different people?

I walked over to the table Pip was sitting at. His face lit up as he saw me approach. His smile sent my heart fluttering in my chest and a stark and powerful thought flashed thru my brain. I know what I'm going to do. I stopped right beside him, but didn't sit down. His smile faltered and he gave a questioning look, confused as to what I was doing.

"Damien?" His voice chimed gracefully.

"Pip."

"…yes?"

"I hate you. I never want to talk to you again. You are no longer my boyfriend. You are to have no contact with me ever again," his eyes started to cloud with tears and I saw his mouth was about to form pleading words. I walked away to another empty table and sat before he could convince me otherwise. I just sat there and started to reluctantly eat the mystery meat concoction the lunch ladies served.

Too bad. I really liked him, loved him you could almost say, but I will never admit it; I'm no weakling. I glanced over at him, but he was gone, presumably to go cry in the bathroom as he usually does. It's for his own good, anyway. He wants more than my demon heart can give him.


	3. Light

3: Light

"Code Blue! We need to intubate stat! Nurse! Intubate him now!" A male voice yells over a roar of other voices.

"Intubate? Code Blue? What the fuck's wrong with him?" This voice sounds familiar, but I can't tell who it is. My head is swirling and my chest is burning. All I want to do is go to sleep.

"His lung," a female voice answers, "The rib must have torn a hole. With the hole, his lung can't keep pressure so it collapsed." Who is he? Are they talking about me? I try to look around and see what is going on, but the lights are just so bright and everyone is moving so quickly. I can't stand it. I have to close my eyes. Maybe if I just go to sleep it will all be over with when I wake up.

"WHAT? Will he be okay?"

"Sir, we need you to leave the area. We need room to work."

"Fine. I need to go kill those punks who beat him up anyway." I can hear loud footsteps leaving the area. I guess whoever that is has to go. I'm so tired.

"Oxygen levels are dropping substantially!"

"We're losing him!"

"Get the defibrillator ready!"

This flurry of yelling voices are hurting my head. I wish they'd all just shut up so I can go to sleep. Everything is burning. All my nerves are on fire. It hurts so much and they are so loud and everything is so bright. Can I just please take a nap? Just for a little while?

"_You can if you come here._" I hear a feminine voice, but I can't tell where it's coming from. "_Open your eyes._" I hear it whisper.

But it's so bloody bright when I open my eyes!

"_Just trust me, Phillip._"

I open my eyes slowly, expecting the same blinding light. However, darkness greets my pupils. I sit up, astonished. It's so dark! Where am I? I can't be in the same place.

"_You aren't, Phillip._" That voice again.

I sit up and look around myself, wildly. I don't see anyone. All I see is darkness. Where are you?

"_At the light."_

What light? Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a pinpoint of light. I don't like the light. It's too bright.

"_Come to the light, Phillip._" The voice is aggravating me.

But I don't like the light! It hurts my eyes! I just want to take a nap.

"_Come to the light, Phillip, and you can take a nap as long as you like. You can do anything you'd like here. There's everything you can ever want. You'll never grow hungry, thirsty, old, or tired here. It's wondrous._"

That does sound nice… But what about my family, my friends? Can they come too? I'm sure they'd love that too.

"_No, Phillip. They shall all come when they are called. Please, just come towards the light. All your pain shall be alleviate. You shall never be bullied, beaten, or bruised again. There is no one here who will hurt you. They all love you here."_

The voice's promises sound nice, but I don't know. I love my family and I love Damien. I don't want to leave them.

"Dear, Phillip. People who love you and you love await you here. Your mother, your father, they wait for you!" The voice blares in my ears.

Two shadows appear in the pinpoint of light. Mother? Father? Are you here? I stand up and run towards the pinpoint of light. Soon it turns into something more. It expands and expands until I am right in front of it. I stand there and look eagerly at the shadows in the light. I can make out the form of a male and female, but I can't see any details. Mom? Dad? I feel tears begin to well up in my eyes and lone droplet escapes, running down my cheek and falling onto my shirt.

"_Yes, Phillip! Just a few more steps and bliss awaits you!" _The voice is pleading now.

The voice is making a lot of sense to me. Who wouldn't want bliss? Who wouldn't want to be with lost loved ones? I take a step forward and the voice whispers affirmation. I take another step, but instead of it being followed by another affirmation, I hear a horrible thud behind me.

"No! Pip! Don't do it! It's not your time! They are just being greedy!" An unmistakable voice sounds behind me. I turn and meet blood red orbs with my blue. Damien? "Step away, Pip! If you step in you will die!" What? I'll die?

"_Be gone, Satan Seed! You are not permitted her!" The voice hisses around us._

"Oh, shut up, you old codger! I'm not letting you steal this one from me. He's mine!" He looks at me, his face pleading. "Please, Pip. Come here! They are just trying to trick you, saying 'bliss' or whatever is what's awaiting you. It's not, Pip. Its death. Death. Do you want to die, Pip? Don't you want to stay here with me? Because you know, if you walk into that light you will never see me again. Ever."

What? I don't want to die! I want to live! And I want to be with Damien!

"_NO! Come right now, Phillip! Come into the light! Don't let that demon deceive you!" _The voice hisses loudly.

It hurts my eardrums and I clasp my head in pain. I thought you said there would be no pain there, but you are hurting me now and I will hurt forever with the loss of Damien.

"_Phillip! COME HERE, before it's too late," _The voice yells.

No! I want to live! I want to be in the preset with the living, with Damien! I run over to Damien. He clasps onto me and holds me against his body as tightly as he can.

"Don't worry. It'll all be over in a moment," Damien coos as he pets my hair.

What will be over?

"His hearts back!" A male voice yells.

"He's stabilizing!" A female yells in return.

"Oxygen is going up!" Another shouts.

Augh, I'm burning again! My eyes flutter open and bright light greets them. My eyes scan the room wildly. I recognize that I am in a hospital. Suddenly, pieces of the day fall together in my brain. I remember being beaten by a random gang of children, my money being stolen and falling on the ground. I remember lying there, coughing up blood, and my chest tightening and burning. I remember becoming woozy as I lay on the snow covered pavement by myself. I remember looking up as a shadow covers my body. I remember Damien standing over me, panic filling his face. Then I remember nothing.

I watch as medical personnel run around the small room with instruments and machines and as they try to inflate my lung. Everything is starting to dim. I can hear my heart beat on the machine pumping at a frantic, but consistent, pace. I guess it's okay to take a nap now? My eyes lull about the room now, sleep pulling them to a close. They stop and fixate on a pair of red eyes. His face smiles at me, worry mixed with his attempt at stoicism. I try to smile back, but the apparatus sticking out of my mouth prevents me. The darkness closes in on him, the only thing visible are his beautiful ruby eyes. The black consumes and give in to oblivion.


	4. Dark

4. Dark

I jimmied open the lock slowly and methodically, making sure to make no more noise than necessary. I tried the knob once again and it finally turned. What kinds of fools don't use a deadbolt? I opened the door slowly, cringing when I heard the unoiled hinge squeak ever so slightly. Nothing stirred, so I entered. Every step was methodical as my eyes tried to become acquainted with the darkness.

Dark masses and blobs represented objects as I tried to maneuver my way around the apartment's living room. I tripped over what felt like a footstool, but I managed to balance myself before crashing down over the floor. My catching footstep made a dull thud on the carpeted floor. I stood stalk still, afraid my noise might have woken him up.

When no noise reciprocated mine I trekked on. I reached out to the wall on my right and felt the heavy, brass frame of one of the paintings that adorned the wall of his hallway. I knew that meant that his bedroom was just straight ahead now.

I took each step lightly as my anticipation and anxiousness consumed me. Doubtful thoughts overtook me as I the gravity and reality of what I was about to dawned on me. I dragged on even slower with each step, second thoughts starting to get the best of me. However, when I felt the cold metal greet my hand, they all fled my brain. I knew what I must do.

I turned the knob slowly before gently opening the door just enough so my slight frame would be able to squeeze through. I stood across the room and just stared at his sleeping figure. He was covered in covers, just a big lump in the middle of the bed. I stepped with trepidation, knowing if he woke it'd all be over. I took the knife out of my back pocket, almost dropping it due to my nervous hands. I pulled back the covers so he could see who was the one to make him feel so human, so delicate, so defenseless.

A mess of blonde hair greeted me and my stomach sank. This wasn't my target. The blonde stirred and turned his head towards me. Blue eyes greeted mine wearily before they widened in fear. I saw his eyes widen even more, terror evident in them, before I heard an inhuman growl behind me.

I turned to see flashes of blood red, glowing eyes, sharp, gleaming teeth, and ram's horns. I felt clawed fingers dig into my shoulders and I tried to swing my knife into my assailant. I felt him tearing at my abdomen with his razor like claws and all I could think about was how I fucked up. How I fell for a quite obvious trap. How I was a fool to think it was going to be that easy. I knew it was all over. The pain was too excruciating to be healable. My screams rang out louder than they ever had before. I heard horrible screams of protest coming from behind me and panting coming from on top of me.

Suddenly, everything stopped. The ripping and shredding subsided and my screams calmed themselves as I kept sinking in and out of consciousness. The yelling behind me was replaced by muffled sniffles.

"Is… is he dead?" I heard whispered behind me.

A smug laugh rang out above me, its stark contrast against the quiet startling. "No, not yet."

I recognized the voice. I'd watched hours of him on video, becoming acquainted with my target. I knew of his might, yet I underestimated him; I was a fool. I opened my eyes slowly. A shit-eater grin adorned his face. His eyes crinkled with pure mirth and his eyes gleamed out from his face. I could see two horns jutting out of the back of his head. That was definitely not in the case file.

"Ah, you've joined us yet again, Mr. Mole. I was afraid you wouldn't live up to your reputation and conk out on me now. I would be ever so disappointed."

"Fuck you," I managed to gurgle out before coughing up blood.

"Aha," he laughed, "That's the man I heard of. Now, if we could get this over with. I'd like to dispose of you quickly so I might get back into bed. I just wanted to make sure you were fully conscious and aware before I did this."

I last thing I saw was a gleaming set of teeth coming towards me before plunging into eternal darkness.

A.N. Yeah, it's been way more than a week. Sorry. The end of the semester was all consuming.


	5. Rot

5: Rot

I'm sure all your flesh has rotten off by now. I'm sure that all that's left is the bones that reflect the unnecessarily short lives you lived and the bugs that unmercifully ate away ate your bodies.

I wish I could have come sooner. I tried my best. I never forgot about the promise I made when I went back to my new home in America after both of your burials. The promise that I'd see you again, at least once.

Little did I know all the challenges I'd face, all the things that got between us. A foster family not rich enough to make a trip to a foreign country; any money I had going towards school and books; years and years of working to pay off student loans.

I finally scrounged up enough money to come back to England and even now it's only for a day. Only one day to reconcile and reconnect to two people I haven't seen in nearly twenty-five years. But I can't. I can't because you are dead and I barely remember you.

I remember your names, your hair and eye color, and the time mum almost had a heart attack when I knocked a boiling kettle over. I remember her scooping me up and telling me to never, ever, ever do that again. But I can't remember her voice saying it. I can't remember what dad was doing during this. I can't remember the sound of your laughter after you realized all was fine. I can't remember if you had crooked or straight teeth when you beamed down at me. I can't remember much of your personalities other than mum liked her tea with extra lemon and dad liked his cars sporty.

I don't know you at all, do I? I don't know how you met. I don't know why you wanted to become American citizens. I don't know why dad had to forget that Americans drive on the opposite sides of the road. I don't know what you thought when you saw that eighteen-wheeler hurtling towards your puny little hatchback and realized there was no time to turn. I don't know if you thought of me, Amelia, or if your life flashed before your eyes. For all I know you could have been thinking about if you left the kettle on or not when you left that morning.

All I really know is what is written on your gravestones. Your name, your birthdate, the children you left behind, and how mum was a loving one and how dad was a strong, yet compassionate, man. But, even with all these loose-ends, I still love you. I don't know why. Must be all the oxytocin we shared when I was a child. The memories of you I do have are cherished. Nothing can spoil them or replace them, not even the ones of my foster parents.

I know it would please you to know that my foster parents are great. They are very nice people. They took me in and treated me as their own. They raised me, respected and supported my decision when I decided I liked Daniels instead of Danielles, helped me pay for school, and still support me, even today, when I come up a bit short.

So far I've had a good life. I graduated college with a degree in English literature. I know that'd make you proud. I've been teaching English classes at the local high school and taking night classes to get my graduate degree in the same subject. I hope to get my doctorate and be a professor. Any yes, I did drop a hint that I was gay earlier. I know that fact probably does not make you proud at all, but I'm sorry. It's just the person I am. I found someone too. He was a childhood friend that I met again my freshman English class of all things. We live together and we hope to be married one day. His name is Damien. You would totally hate him, mainly because he's as far from Catholic as you can get.

I really wish you were here to be a part of my life. Of course it'd be completely different if you were alive, but I just wish you could be with me somehow. Hopefully what they say is true and you are there, standing on a cloud looking down at me with a proud expression. I can't wait till we see each other again. I miss you guys so much.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and decided it was time to go. I knelt down before my parent's graves and traced the engraved words with my fingers. I took the bouquet of marigolds I had been holding, my mum's favorite, and put it in front of her grave. I then took the bouquet of forget-me-nots and placed them in front of his grave. I took out my camera and photos of the grave in case I never get to come back and so I may remember this day forever. I put my camera back in my pocket and said a quick prayer.

God our Father, Your power brings us to birth, Your providence guides our lives, and by Your command we return to dust. Lord, those who die still live in Your presence, their lives change but do not end. I pray in hope for my family, relatives and friends, and for all the dead known to You alone. In company with Christ, Who died and now lives, may they rejoice in Your kingdom, where all our tears are wiped away. Unite us together again in one family, to sing Your praise forever and ever.

Amen. And good-bye.

A.N. The prayer was not written by me. It is the Catholic Prayer for the Dead. So I guess it's copyright the Bible… or the Vatican… or something… :|


	6. Break

6: Break

"We need a break," she said softly as she gently moved the hair from in front of my eyes.

"A break? What do you mean?" I asked, confused. Literally thirty seconds before she had planted the sweetest of kisses on my lips. I could still taste the strawberry gloss that was left on my lips.

"Pip... I think... we should see other people. Just for a while," she winced at the most likely heartbroken look on my face.

"But... Why? I thought we were fine."

"That's exactly it. We are fine. Fine shouldn't apply to a relationship. Passionate, loving, lustful- those are the words that should describe a relationship. I don't know, maybe its because this has been your first relationship, but your so reserved with me. I mean, we've been dating for three months and you haven't even put any kind of move on me," she cupped her boobs, making me blush profusely.

She continued, "I mean look at me! I'm prime real-estate! I mean, I'm freaking Bebe Stevens! Do you know how many guys have asked me out in the last year? Since we've been dating? I could have had my pick of the lot, but I chose you. I wanted to try something new. Instead of a horny jock, I wanted to try a sweet, intelligent boy. I wanted to try a relationship with _you_, but you just... its turning more into a platonic friendship, not the true love I wanted it to turn into. At first I found it refreshing, but now... its just unfufilling." She sighed before grabbing my hand. "Don't you want to stop me? Don't you want to try while you still have the chance?"

She lead my hand onto her thigh and moved it upwards slowly. I jerked away, embarrassed more than I have ever been in my life. She sighed again, "I guess not..." She got up off my bed and walked towards the door. "You know where I am if you ever change your mind," she threw her corn yellow, curly hair behind her with a flick of her hand as she left.

I just sat there, stunned, confused, and mortified.

"Why didn't you just nail her?"

"_Damien! _Don't be so crude!"

"Aww, come on, Pip," he grinned, "Don't tell me you haven't thought about tapping that. She was your girlfriend for Hell's sake. And she was _Bebe Stevens_, one of the hottest girls in school. She asked you out, a lowly nerd, and you fucked it up." I glared at him and felt my lip rolling out into a pout. "Come on, tell me. Did you cop a feel at least?"

"Dear Lord, no! Don't be so vulgar, Damien!" I blushed and covered my face in shame at the thought.

"Why not?"

"Huh?"

"Why didn't you have your way with her? I know I would tear that shit up." He grinned as my blush increased.

"I... I don't know. It somehow feels wrong."

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me its your religious shit interfering with this. Yeah, yeah, we both know Jesus _is _real, obviously, but we both know who your _real_ savior is." He wriggled his eye brows and pointed at himself with his thumb.

"Don't get too cocky, now. Sure you saved me after I was blown to pieces, but remember who blew me to pieces in the first place."

"I get it. How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry? You'd think with all the male bonding we had while we were having all those crazy hijinks you'd be over it." I shrugged. Suddenly his face lit up.

"What?"

"That's it, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Cocky."

"Huh?"

"Cock."

"What do roosters have to do with anything?"

"Not that kind of cock." I stared at him, completely lost. He sighed before taking his pointer finger, placing in front of his crotch, and wriggling it about.

"Ew, what? What is wrong with you?" I got off of my bed and waved my hands in disapproval.

"That is so totally it! That's the only way a guy could resist those lovely double- d's." He smirked up at me.

"No way! I am not gay!" I shook my head furiously.

"Sure, I believe you." I stopped and stared in amazement at him. What he had just said did not have his normal sarcastic tone in it.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Huh," I said, slightly confused. I regained my seat on my bed and stared at my hands for a few moments. "So what do you think I should- mmhmmm!"

My mouth was closed by another pair of lips crashing onto mine. I tried to protest, but he was persistent. He pinned me backwards and straddled me, all the while never removing his lips. My heart started to wrack against my ribs with what at first I thought was terror, but then I thought back, back to me and Bebe.

We had been in a similarly compromising position before. She kissed me gently and then started to make out with me. I remember thinking to myself that I wished she just hurry up, that I'd just rather be reading a good book or hanging out with... hanging out with Damien. I'd rather be hanging out with my best friend than the hottest girl in the whole high school. I felt my hart thump hard in my chest. I'd never felt that with Bebe.

I felt myself relax and permitted him to enter my mouth as the kiss' passion increased. His hands roamed over my body until one pinched my left nipple. I gasped before his mouth consumed mine again. He pinched and rubbed my nipples, causing a feeling that I had only felt in instances of self-pleasure, except it was better. Way better. I never realized how something like this could be that pleasurable.

His hands and mouth worked their way down my body slowly but surely. He kissed all the way down to my pants before stopping. He shifted his body back up towards mine before kissing me again. His hand lingered at my pants, however, and after a moment I felt him touch my crotch. I moaned into his mouth and I felt him grin as he continued to kiss me. Suddenly he sat up and straddled my legs. He placed his hands at the top of my pants and began unbuttoning them.

"What the fuck!" A female voice rang out from my doorway. Both of our heads shot over and, to my horror, there stood Bebe. "No wonder this didn't work out! You're fucking _gay_!"

"Wait!" We all grimaced at the unintentionally husky sound of my voice.

I heard her huff in aggravation before running out of my room and down the stairs. "I'm telling your mom!" I heard her yell.

"Oh no! I tried to wriggle out from under Damien, but he wouldn't let me go.

"I knew it," he smirked down at me.

"_DAMIEN!_"

A.N. Tee-hee.

If this is fucked up I blame stupid open office. How I loathe you, open office. -yearns for her other computer that has Word-


	7. Heaven

7: Heaven

I don't see whats so great about Heaven. People always chatter on about 'eternal peace' and 'seeing their loved ones' and 'never being tired or in pain or hungry'.

About eternal peace- ever heard of Lucifer or Azazel? My father, Satan?

Seeing your loved ones? Imagine all your ancestors. Now imagine all of your family reminiscing with the ones that died before them. What time do they have for you when they haven't seen their Great-Great- Grandmother Ethel in sixty years?

Never being tired? Sure that's great, but you never get the joy of sleeping and dreams. No pain? Say goodbye to your S&M fetishism. I hope it served you well. Also, on that point, there's no sex in Heaven. I think that's a strong enough point to stand by itself. And never being hungry? I hope you don't like Devil's food-cake, because you aren't getting it up there.

I know the real Heaven. It's sitting right beside me- chocolate bacon cake.

Oh, you thought I was going to say the lovely, little lad sitting on my other side? Oh, he's quite heavenly I suppose too (in bed at least). But poor Pip only has one problem- he doesn't taste like bacon and chocolate.

A.N. Short, stupid and late update is short, stupid, and late.


	8. Away

8: Away

"But why _here_. Couldn't we just move to North Park instead and commute?" I begged as I watched the distantly familiar buildings of the hell-hole known as South Park pass by in a blur.

"Phillip, just let up on it already! My parents need us to live as close as possible so that we could help them at the drop of a hat. You know your Grandma Patty's bones are as brittle as a bird's!" My mum said as she turned into a cul de sac where our newly purchased brick two-story home sat with a mountain of snow on its roof.

"But-"

"Do you want her to break her hip and lay on the floor and die because I lived to far away to check on her everyday _again_?"

"Of course not!" I yelled as she pulled into the drive-way and parked.

"That's enough, you two!" My dad said while waving his hands dismissively, "Look, Phillip, we know you had bad experiences here as a kid. Your case worker told us all about it before we adopted you, but you've got to realize this all happened when you were all snot nosed ten year olds. You are all about seventeen years old by now and should have some sense now. They probably are all sorry about how they treated you back then."

"Yeah, right…" I said under my breath and got out of the backseat of our minivan.

I surveyed the landscape around me. It had snowed and grayed even more than when I'd seen it a few weeks ago. The snow munched under my footsteps and I sighed, remembering that with snow came snow-shovels. Oh, how I'm going to miss living in the ever-warm Louisiana. At least the rednecks there were _nice_ rednecks, unlike here. My dad popped open the back end of our minivan and we started unloading the last of the boxes from our move.

I walked in the front door of South Park High School and my stomach tied itself in knots as familiar faces lined the walls and aggregated in the center of the front corridor. I could recognize most of the faces and their names came back almost immediately. I walked quietly to the front office and tried to look no one in the eye. I could feel eyes boring into my back and the room hush with inquisitive whispers as I closed the office door behind me.

I walked up to the front desk and peered around as there seemed to be no one there. I grew a bit irritated as the office lady had told me to come pick up my schedule on my first day when I enrolled. I listened and could hear her voice faintly reverberating around the corner where I couldn't see. I looked at her desk and noticed a service bell sat next to her nameplate. I tapped it and it made a blunt thud of a ring. I sighed, certain no one could hear it, when a teenage guy rounded the corner.

For the first millisecond my brain couldn't remember who it was that owned dead black hair and dead black eyes until I saw the reddish color around his pupils. I gulped nervously and I was sure my stomach was trying to twist itself like a clown does when they turn a balloon into a poodle. He smiled at me and too-sharp teeth gleamed out.

"Hi, you need something?" Damien said.

"Uh, yeah… I need my schedule." I tried to keep my voice calm and level, but I heard some nervousness seep out.

"New here?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Funny, because you seem very familiar for some reason," he narrowed his eyes at me, as if he was analyzing my face, and I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. He sat down at the desk and pulled out the keyboard. "Name?"

I felt the blood drain out of my face and paused, panic running through my mind as I wondered what would happen when he realized who I was. He looked up at me with an inquisitive eyebrow. "Phillip…. Pirriup."

A smile stretched across his face as he looked at the computer screen and typed my name in. "I knew it. You've been away for a while, haven't you?" I heard a printer working behind him.

"Yeah… Seven years."

"So why are you back after so long?" He looked me over as he stood up and walked over to the printer behind him.

"My parents need to help out my grandparents a bit so we had to move back."

"Where have you been? I noticed your English accent is gone. It's a pity really."

"Louisiana."

"Awesome. Ever go to Mardi Gras?" He asked as he came from behind the office area and into the waiting area with a paper in his hand.

"Yes, a few times." He stopped beside me and stretched his arm out to hand me the paper. I went to grab it and my fingers accidently brushed his.

_"Get away from me!" I tried to shove him as hard as I could, but he kept pushing me up against the wall of the office. "Get away!"_

_ "Aw, come on. Don't be that way, Pippers,"he crooned into my neck and made shivers run down the back of my neck._

_ "I said get away, damn it!" I punched him in the shoulder with all the force that I could muster._

_ "Hey, that actually hurt a bit," he leaned back and rubbed his shoulder._

_ "Good!" I started to sprint away, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. He pinned me to the wall again and looked me in the eye. The reddish brown around his pupils seemed to glow a bit and I gulped nervously._

_ "I missed you. You've been gone far too long."_

_ "What, you miss your old blow-up toy?" I said as I turned my face away from his._

_ "No, I've got new toys to blow up. I miss you because of this," he said before grabbing my chin in his hand and turning it towards him. His lips crashed down onto mine and his other hand ran itself through my shaggy, blonde hair._

_ I futilely tried to push him off for a moment, but I couldn't help but notice my heart beating out of my chest and my spine shivering. I couldn't help but notice that I didn't want it to stop and that I was returning his kiss. Our bodies pressed feverishly together and my hands wandered over his body. He pulled my hair a bit and I moaned in his mouth. _

_He pulled me away from the wall and onto his lap as he fell onto a computer chair and I fell on top on his lap. It rolled back with the force of our bodies and knocked the printer of its pedestal of a table. I looked around wildly, trying to see if anyone heard and came, but no one was there. I wondered where everyone had gone and started to think about where we were, but he pulled my head back down to his and he kissed me fervently. All thought proceeded to leave my brain as his hand grazed the skin under my shirt. _

_His hands proceeded to work their way down my body and he started to unbutton my pants. As he unzipped them I leaned back so I could help him take them off when I noticed something. I was wearing red underwear, but I've never owned any red underwear. _

"_Ah, fuck. I got the underwear wrong, right? I'm shit at figuring out what underwear people wear," Damien said and sighed._

"_What?" I looked around in confusion, "Where is everyone? Shouldn't school have started already?"_

"_Damn, and I was enjoying this too. Well, at least I know your open to it," he ran his hands through his hair and let out a long, exasperated sigh._

"_Huh?"_

I looked at Damien and pulled the paper he was handing me away from him. He smiled impishly at me as I stood there dumbfounded.

"There is your schedule. I noticed we have a lot of the same classes, how fun," he said.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Oh, well the last few years I've been training with one of the incubus. I still need to practice, though." The bell rang and he smiled at me. "Well, I guess you better get to class, shouldn't you? I work in the office during first period, but I'll see you in second. Bye."

He walked back into the office part and turned the corner, leaving me by myself and confused. I looked down and saw that my pants were confused too. Before I could even think the office door flew open and a 400 pound guy came waddling in.

"What the hell man! Oh my gawd, you guys, look at the freak with the boner in the office!" Who I assumed was Cartman yelled behind him and a flood of faces appeared behind him. With the faces appeared laughter too.

"What's all this ruckus!?" The office lady came running around the corner and Cartman and the others ran back outside. "What's going on?" She looked towards me and then blushed profusely. "Oh, my."

A.N. Yeah, its been awhile. Hopefully almost smex makes up for it? My online textbook for the class I'm studying for right now wouldn't load, so I took a break to write this. If you haven't already, please check out my newest and COMPLETED story, Drugs and Deities You won't regret it. ;)


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